Emotions can be a very complicated thing. In a given situation, you can start to feel angry or frustrated, which could cause you to do something you’ll regret. What you need to do is learn to control your own emotions (mostly negative) by enhancing your ability to summon the appropriate emotions that you want to have, at any given time. It is really all about self discipline and self control. You may be wondering, “How do I control my emotions like this?”
Well, this is easier for some people than others. If you are an expressive person who acts on how you feel all the time, then summoning the appropriate emotions could be a challenge. If you are more of a reserved person who controls and summons emotions to fit what society expects from you, then this might be something you already have experience with.
The key to summoning a particular kind of emotion is by thinking about something that will trigger it. For example, if you want to summon a sad emotion, you should think about a sad memory from your past. Perhaps you could think of a time when your parent or best friend passed away. Even though this might be painful to think about, it will help you summon the emotion you’re looking for. Just focus on the painful memory and while thinking about it, the sadness you felt before should start coming back. Then, you will be feeling that sadness all over again in the exact same way.
The same goes for happy memories as well. If you are in a situation that requires you to be cheerful and smiley, think of a time that made you happy. It could be memories of your wedding day or a day where you got a big promotion at your job. Just focus your thoughts on these positive memories and they will make your mind relive them through your emotional state. It is really a mental mind game for you to summon emotions. You just need to have a good memory and recollection of your feelings of the past, in order to summon them back and bring out those old feelings.
A great way to master your emotions is to take acting lessons. As human beings, we are naturally pre-disposed to certain emotional responses when the situation arises. Nature never intended for us to withhold emotions or hide our feelings.
These kinds of actions were something that people implemented into society, in order to portray a particular kind of impression towards others. Well, with acting lessons, you will be taught how to act out particular kinds of emotions without really feeling them. After all, acting is pretty much all about emotions. It isn’t about memorizing dialogue from a script and repeating them out loud. When you see actors on stage or in film, you have to remember that all of their emotions that they express, it is also an act. Do you think it is easy for them to do that? No, it is not. So, the next time you see a crying scene in a movie, you should think about how hard it must have been for that actor to summon sad emotions in order to portray a realistic crying scene.
Okay, so now, you have an idea on how to summon your emotions. You’re probably thinking, “Why would I want to summon an emotion that doesn’t coincide with what I am really feeling?”
Well, we live in a very complicated world. If you have an important job, for example, you have to look and act professional all the time. Do you ever wonder why salespeople act friendly and happy all the time? It isn’t because they are naturally cheerful; they have to put on that persona in front of the customer so that the customer feels comfortable with them. If the salesperson was mean and angry, the customer would want to get as far away from him as possible. That certainly won’t help the salesperson to sell his product. The whole idea is to make the customer become friendly with you so they will trust you enough to purchase from you.
The same idea can be applied in all sales industries. A realtor showing you a house will be cheerful. But after you leave without purchasing anything, they will probably grumble and whine about it when they are alone in their car. We live in a society full of “fake” people. These are people who never show their true colors out in public, only behind closed doors.
A more serious example of this would be the recent Cleveland kidnapper in the United States, who held three girls prisoner for 10 years. All of the kidnapper’s friends said he was kind and a fun-going guy. But, when he was at home alone, he turned into a completely different person by torturing young girls. There is no doubt that psychotic criminals like this are masters at controlling their emotions. But that doesn’t mean you have to be a psychopath to do the same thing!
People everywhere are putting on a fake persona in order to get a certain reaction out of other people. Some people are better at it than others. It depends on how much practice you have and how many situations you’ve been put into, where you had to summon certain emotions at will. You may think that emotional mastery is not for everyone, but it really is. To survive in this world, you need to be able to adapt to the way things are. Unfortunately, we live in a world that requires people to express a certain kind of emotion during specific times. If you are unable to do that, then you are deemed as someone with inappropriate, unethical or unprofessional behavior.
We are not born with the ability to summon emotions. This is a skill that has to be acquired through hard work and experience. Chances are, you will have a tough time with it at first, but practice makes perfect. Just keep trying to summon any of your emotions no matter where you are, just so you can practice. If you are eating at a restaurant, try increasing your politeness toward the waitress. Compliment her on her trendy uniform or her professional mannerisms.
Practice, practice and practice. After a while, you will be good enough to summon appropriate emotions in more critical situations, which may be required in the corporate world or in your personal relationship.